Considering my future and my recent past I’m left staring at the deeper questions that once occupied me 24/7, but now seem to have taken a back seat to life in the fast lane. I don’t have any more 12-hour bus trips from Cartagena to Medellin to consider what it all means and who I want to be.
Tamara Mejia – One of the beautiful people I met on my travels.
On the flip side, I’m no longer a spectator. For better or worse I’m putting myself out there. I’m committing to performance training, health, nutrition and lifestyle, and things are shifting around me as a result of the waves caused by this life. My ego says it’s great that I’m 6kg heavier with less body fat than when I arrived in France and that I no longer have to change the weights down every time I train with a player. Sometimes I even change them up now. But so what?
Carlos Castaneda’s books captivated me years ago when I was posing these questions. It seems that Don Juan’s answer is that none of that shit matters at all to the ultimate reality, but as a man I must follow a path with all my heart. Any path. Whole heart.
While I know that my lifts and my blog don’t mean shit in the bigger unseeable picture, I also know that my heart is picking up momentum and with it gravity that’s pulling those around me into my loving journey.
Heartmath research says that love wins over fear. Fear is the mass media culture of the 21st century but it’s pull is not as strong. To love anything is bliss. My greatest challenge.
I keep a grateful log where I thank those around me. I realised that I was blessed in 2006 when I travelled blindly (around the world) into every dark alley and unknown I could find and emerged more sure that love was the way and the dominant force that surrounds me.
Still I know that materialism is gripping me tighter. Loneliness is the ultimate sign of wanting something physical since I’m already a part of an everything, that I can never be divided from.
I’m getting heavier on my all-important path to nowhere. I’m gaining momentum, momentum and gravity.
My weight is going up but this is an exaggerated weight on a full be and dodgy scales
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